Today is Nov 18th I know because I just check the calendar on the computer not the wall (the wall calandar you have to know the day of the week and that does not always work for me now). Normally I would know this but since I have been on Topiramate I seem to forget everything, (Topirmate is the gernic of Topomax and the slang is called dopeamax or stupidamax) even how to spell simple words so please forgive all spelling errors in this blog PLEASE! Does this thing have a spell check anywhere? YES found it! I have no excuse now that is unless I forget to use it, that is a real possibility here people!
My name is Beth I'm 50, married to Gary for 27 years Nov 26th (WOW hard to believe its been that many years.) We have 5 children. Gary has two handsome boys with his wonderful ex wife and we have 3 beautiful girls. March of this year I had my second Tonic-Clonic seizure. To you who don't know that means Gran Mal. This is really when my new Epilepsy Journey begin but lets start from the very beginning...........
July 4th of 2009 I had my 1st TC seizure. Gary and two of our daughters were at Steve and Caths in East Long Meadow MA. It was 8:30 ish the sun was shinning and I was outside drinking a cup of coffee in my jammies and enjoying it. It had been up to this point a cold and rainy summer and to see the sun on the 4th of the July was a real gift. Gary calls to me and tells me I had better get ready because more people were arriving. Steve and Cath live on one of the biggest parade routes in Western Ma and host the best July 4th party I have ever been to so Gary was right I had better get a move on if I didn't want to be seen by about 100 guests in my jammies in about 15 mins
I head in to the house, get dressed and then into the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face when all of a sudden I feel sick, my head starts to tingle and the tingle goes from the top of my head to my chest to my arms and I start to think "Oh my gosh I am having a heart attack" I sit on the toilet for a few seconds thinking it will go away but it does not so I walk into the guest bedroom we are using tell Gary I don't feel well and the next think I know I am waking to Cath telling Gary the Paramedics are here. I didn't want to wake up. I was so content. I was so happy I remember. I though if this was what it felt like to die then OK I'm good!
But OH NO they were not letting me lay there in my peaceful bliss, these paramedics were making me wake up and making me talk. I could hear them, I could see them but my mouth just could not form any words. I remember thinking I know my name its BETH damn it just say it but the words were not coming and now out of my peaceful bliss I was mad. What the hell I was thinking. Was this real, am I dreaming because at this point I was thinking I was in a dream and what was Cath and these paramedics doing in my dream?
Everyone was talking, so many people were in this little bedroom, Gary, Cath, I saw Steve, Kate peeked around the corner. The looks on their faces now were scaring me. Gary looked old. Gary is so good looking this was the 1st time in my life I saw my husband old, terrified and lost. I was now worried sick for him OH MY GOD I love you so much Gary what happend to me! Cath is fun, she's blonde, she beautiful and she was in take control mode. Steve the sarcastic comic always has a zinger comeback at yeah,wont let you out the door without a kick in the ass friend :) now looked like my husband. They all looked scared to death. WHAT JUST HAPPEND TO ME!!!!
In the ambulance I go and the ironic part of this was it was parade day and this being the parade route Steve and Cath lived on and the parade was to start at just the time the ambulance took me away to the hospital all these 1000's of people lined up thinking the ambulance was the start of the parade. EVERYONE WAVED!!! Its funny now looking back and of course I was looking backwards in the ambulance and saw all these wonderful people waving to me. Just funny now. Had to be there I guess LOL.
Stroke............Oh not such a nice word to hear when you dont know what just happend to you huh! but then again having your dad die at 41 of a heart attack and your 49 smoke and yes a tiny bit over weight ok ok a tiny bit more then a tiny bit over weight is maybe a little bit better then heart attack but not really. Riding in the fast lane and in between vomiting I did hear that word stoke spoken more then twice by the very nice 28 yr old girl taking my vitials as she spoke to the hospital and yes it did SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME because I could not hold my vomit bag myself and needed her to hold it (I bet her friends love her when they all party and get way to drunk heheheh). I could not smile as one side of my face was drooping, one side of my body was dead, my right arm I could not move, my right leg I could not move, and I slurred my words. I hope I'm still dreaming............
Baystate Medical, Big City Hospital. Beth Breton, Little Country Girl........oh not always a good match I'm afraid.
No comments:
Post a Comment